With a "plop", another figure jumped down from the bridge.
The moment you enter the water, all the sounds in the world become slow and distant.
Bubbles rose from the bottom of the water, and Nan Yi saw the white robe.
Song Muchuan gave up struggling and sank to the bottom of the water with his eyes closed. She swam hard towards the hem of clothes.
……
Finally got it.
When Song Muchuan was about to die, he felt someone holding his hand. He opened his eyes and saw the girl's face.
His heart was filled with despair, and he jumped into the river with the determination to die. He even refused to allow all the memories of the past to flash through his mind like a revolving lantern. But at this moment, it seemed that a ray of unwillingness and desire to survive suddenly jumped into his western limbs.
He recalled seeing all the flowers in Chang'an in one day when he was inscribed on the gold medal list, recalling the free and easy way of reciting poems under the moonlight with two or three close friends, and recalling the heavy snowfall outside the Hall of Wende...
In the 22nd year of Yongkang, seven days before the Spring Shock happened.
His good friend Xie Chaoen fought to the death in Youdu Prefecture, but the officials were wavering and wanted to surrender, but they were also afraid that the Qi people would open their mouths, so they were hesitant. Three urgent military reports from the front line asking for food and help were suppressed. Underneath the desk.
Warriors die in battle, and writers die in admonishment.
At that time, he was a civil servant in Yushitai. He knelt outside Wende Palace for seven days to ask the officials to fight to the end and increase their troops in Youdu Palace.
The winter that year was particularly long. It was still snowing heavily as the spring equinox approached, and everything was lifeless.
The sound of horse hooves for the last eight hundred miles passed by his ears, and the bad news of Xie Chaoen's treason came.
All the dust has settled and there is no way to reverse it.
But he always thought that he failed to fulfill his mission as a civil servant. If he could work harder and persuade officials to send troops, wouldn't he be able to force Xie Chaoen into such a situation?
After that, he was dismissed from office, refused the blessing of his family, exiled himself, and changed his name to "Yusu".
Premonition, premonition.
He also didn't know who was begging whom for forgiveness.
He has been wandering for six years, but there is always support from his family, so he can still have enough food and clothing and be neatly dressed. In the past six years, he has been obsessed with Confucianism, went to temples, stayed in Taoist temples, and practiced 80,000 Buddhist teachings. He is still a man who can't let go of his obsession.
Finally tired and wanted to go home. But on the way back to Tokyo, I heard that the country was ruined and the family was destroyed. His whole family died in the war, and he, an unfilial son, had not seen his parents for six years.
Looking north from the south crown, there is no home in sight.
All the way to Lidu Mansion, I heard that Xie Queshan was also here. People in the streets were scolding this traitor, but he remained silent. He couldn't curse because he was also guilty of it.
But he didn't dare to recognize him, they were no longer on the same journey.
He hid in the market and lived in confusion.
The family's support was cut off, and he fell from the clouds. He experienced the pain of food and clothing for the first time. He was in a mess, but there were many things he couldn't let go of. Zhongshu Ling sent a secret message asking him to take charge of the Bingzhu Division of Lidu Prefecture and help King Ling'an cross south.
He refused. I feel that I have no virtue or talent and am not worthy of being a minister.
Achi, the bodyguard who was always with him when he first arrived, was also overwhelmed by the hunger and cold in recent days and fell ill. He had no money to buy medicine, not even a bowl of porridge. He didn't know why he was so obsessed with it, why he wanted to steal the bag of rice, and put all the sage books he had read behind his mind.
He accepted his fate, and he was a sinner who would not regret dying.
But, but, she was getting closer to him, trying to take him out of the dark and turbid water. A ray of skylight slanted across the water, and she was in the skylight.
When she was about to take him to that ray of sky, he suddenly realized that he didn't want to die yet.
……
Nan Yi finally dragged Song Muchuan to the shore.
Fresh air rushed into his mouth and nose, and Song Muchuan coughed violently, coughing out all the water that had been choked in his lungs.
"Madam, why did you save me?"
He looked at her, with a hint of hope hidden in his self-pitying tone. He was also begging for that little bit of pity and affirmation, listening to her say things like "You don't want to die," "You're not that unbearable," and "You deserve to live."
Nan Yi quickly wiped the water off her clothes, her facial features knitted together from the exertion, and her movements had nothing to do with dignity. She looked up at him, calm and angry.
"I rescued you just to ask you, why do you scholars, like you, look down on people who would rather die than live?"
"……no."
But Song Muchuan also knew that his defense was very weak. Didn't he just seek death because he couldn't bear the momentary shame?
If he could calmly accept being alive, he shouldn't behave like this.
"Why can't I live like this? Who do you look down on?"
Song Muchuan looked at her blankly, and he seemed to understand something.
She saved him, perhaps because they made different choices in similar predicaments. And his choice was a deafening accusation to her.
"You know, if you are going to die, then many people in this world don't deserve to live."
He mistakenly thought there were tears on her face, but there were drops of water all over their bodies, and he couldn't tell whether they were tears or not.
"Those who are humiliated by the world should all die."
He stood up, more than half a head taller than her, but stood helpless like a child who had made a mistake.
"But why? Living is a more difficult thing than death. If you can't do it, just give up, and you will also despise those who are struggling."
"Ma'am, that's not the case-"
"I'm done. If you still want to die, find a place where no one is around and jump into the river without being discovered."
After saying that, Nan Yi turned to leave. Suddenly realizing something, he reached into his sleeves to look for it, only to find that the brocade box containing the inkstone was missing.
She was stunned for a moment and glanced at the river.
It must have fallen into the river.
The inkstone that Sister Qiu gave her went around and around, but in the end she couldn't hold on to it.
She touched her waist again, and the purse containing the silver was still there, containing the newly pawned silver. She was a person who loved money as much as her life. She didn't know what was going on at the moment. She felt that things in the world were nothing more than that and nothing important.
With a wave of his hand, he tore off the purse and threw it to Song Muchuan.
"It's obviously the world's fault."
She dropped the last sentence and walked away lightly.
Song Muchuan stared at her back blankly.
After reciting three thousand volumes of sutras, Cao Xi died in one sentence.
For so many years, he thought it was his fault. He was trapped in a small space, punishing himself day and night for those trivial mistakes, but he forgot to look up and take a look at the world.
He was still too well protected, his clothes were dust-free, he maintained a useless character, and spoke harsh moral principles, but he made himself a useless person.
There are gold belts for killing people and setting fires, but there are no corpses for repairing bridges and repairing roads. What he wants to change is this world.
Heaven will not save me, but I can save the world.
Back at the thatched hut, Song Muchuan used the money left by Nan Yi to buy food and medicine for A Chi, and then rummaged through the boxes and found a letter from his luggage.
Achi regained some energy and looked at Song Muchuan in confusion.
"Lang Jun, what are you doing?"
