"Little brother, you really are beyond recognition. How dare you touch the buttocks of a car full of women?"
After hearing my answer, the eyes of the inmate next to me suddenly shone, and he almost knelt down to worship me.
Another inmate also became interested and asked me which women's butts I had touched. Did I touch a foreign girl's buttocks? What did it feel like?
Which part of my butt was touched by me? I have to ask Lao Jiang if this is a good question!
"How else can it feel? Aren't all butts the same?" I replied half-heartedly.
All the inmates laughed and pointed at me: "If it's the same, why don't you touch your own? Women are more comfortable to touch than us stinky men. They smell delicious and are soft."
Seeing the wretched looks on those guys' faces, I didn't bother to pay attention and sat aside in a muffled voice. I was thinking about how I could see Master Diao, otherwise it would be too unfair for me to bear such a big blame for no reason.
I just spent one night in jail, and on the second day, I finally found the opportunity!
It turned out that the prison in the British Concession emphasized "human rights" and had an hour of "relaxation time" every afternoon. That is to put all the prisoners on the playground to get some air and sunshine to prevent them from becoming mentally ill.
During the release, the west corner was guarded by prison guards with guns, and the iron fence was also erected high to prevent anyone from escaping.
I searched for traces of Mr. Diao in the crowd, but I could never find a figure that fit the identity of the dignified monk. Instead, I noticed a strange scene.
But I saw several burly and distinguished-looking prisoners receiving good rabbit and mutton meat from a foreign policeman, huddled together and feeding an eagle!
The eagle's body was jet black, its hair was shiny, but its beak was golden. It stood there majesticly, as if it were a king dominating the world, exuding the aura of overlooking all living beings.
The prisoners surrounding it were like servants, just waiting for it to eat meat.
"Are there still eagles in this prison? They eat better than other people." I almost vomited when I thought about the vegetable soup with rice I had for lunch.
My pickpocket cellmate cracked some melon seeds he had stolen from somewhere and replied: "What prisoner? They are pets. No, the pets of superior people are much more noble than the two of us..."
Suddenly, the inmate lowered his voice, as if he was worried about being heard by others: "I heard that this eagle was raised by an unknown big shot in the prison. Did you see that the meat was prepared by foreigners?"
"Brother, let me remind you, that big shot is the king of this place. Even the warden has to bow his head when he sees him! Even if this eagle takes the initiative to provoke you and pecks your butt, then you have to smile and give the other one to you. past."
Hearing his words, I couldn't help but laugh.
Seeing my smile, the inmate quickly covered my eyes and persuaded me, "Why are you laughing? You, a butt-touching maniac, wouldn't want to touch the eagle, would you? It must be a male, not a female!"
"I didn't want to touch its butt." I opened the inmate's hand and thought to myself: I want to pluck out the hair!
Because I know how I can see Master Diao!
So when those men left and the eagle was lazily basking in the sun with squinted eyes, I suddenly took off my coat, covered the eagle, and took him back to the cell without anyone noticing.
As soon as I entered the cell, I blocked its mouth, tied its hands and feet, and began the brutal work of plucking its hair.
"Hey, I want you to eat better than me."
"Let you bask in the sun every day."
"Let you look at me with your little contemptuous eyes."
Watching this scene, several other inmates were horrified. The first one they said to me was: I'm tired of living!
In order not to implicate themselves, they could only cry out and report: "Come on, someone, Mr. Diao's eagle has been plucked by this lunatic like a boiled old hen..."
When the men found the cell, the majestic Eagle had already taken off half of its clothes, and I was successfully brought to the Eagle.
Master Diao lives on the third floor of the prison. How can this be considered a prison? It is clearly one of the best private rooms in Shanghai.
A soft big bed, tables and chairs made of huanghuali, incense rising in the stove, and various famous calligraphy and paintings on the walls, one of which is Huang Gongwang's "Fuchun Mountains"...
"I heard that you plucked my little Hei's hair?"
Before I could take in all the furnishings in this room, a slightly hoarse voice drew my attention back.
I looked across and saw an old man leaning lazily on a sandalwood chair, holding a green crutch in his hand.
He was around sixty years old, with a majestic face, a scar from the corner of his eye to his mouth, and his eyes were like hawks.
Although he was just leaning there, there was a strong murderous aura emanating from his body. I had only seen this kind of murderous aura in Lao Jiang who was in full condition.
There was also a beautiful lady standing on both sides, one handed him a pipe, and the other gave him a fan, proper treatment from a local emperor!
"Boy, our Lord Diao is asking you something."
One of the men who was escorting me kicked me in the butt. I immediately raised my head, tried to make my voice sound normal, and shouted: Good luck to Mr. Diao.
"Hey, you know that I am Mr. Diao, but do you know our methods?" The old man took a puff of his pipe and said, "Since you are young, I won't embarrass you. You pulled out my little one." It’s black, I’ll let my men pluck your bird’s feathers, that’s fair, right?”
"My bird?"
"I don't have any birds!"
Just when I was wondering, the man next to me was already groping for my lower body. It suddenly dawned on me, and then I calmly shouted to stop: "I didn't know that the eagle was raised by you. Besides, the eagle is an eagle." I am the Taishan Beidou in the world of tomb robbers. Are you going to argue with me, a little brat, so that people in the world won’t laugh at you?”
"Hahahahaha, you touched my daughter's butt and plucked the hair of my pet. Li Jinglan, do you know that no one in Shanghai dares to sit on my neck and poop and urinate like this?"
"You think you are the king of heaven!"
Diaoye's crutch hit the ground so hard that my heart was shaking at this moment.
He actually knows that my name is Li Jinglan?
Could it be that Lao Jiang touched too many people's butts last night and accidentally hurt Mr. Diao's daughter? And from the first moment I stepped into this prison, Master Diao had already set his sights on me...
At this moment, I am like an ant on a hot pot, and I feel like my eyebrows are burning. Old ginger, old ginger, you really hurt me this time.
I was thinking about what to say to explain, but Lord Diao asked me to raise my head, and then I couldn't help laughing, and my mouth almost opened: "Young man, you are very courageous. I haven't been like this in a long time." I'm so happy, since you have added a touch of color to my boring life, I won't bother with you about Xiao Hei."
"But my daughter, hey, we still have to settle this account carefully. Whichever hand touched it will be chopped off today!"
When I heard the word 'chop hands', my knees went weak. Master Diao's aura is so strong that I have been led away by him since I came in. It's simply not possible to continue like this.
"Master Diao, since you know my name is Li Jinglan, don't you know that the reason why I came here pretending to be a gangster this time is all for you? That's right, Master Diao, my target is you!"
"What, you don't like my eldest lady, but you like my boss?" The subordinate who just kicked me suddenly asked.
I ignored him and shouted to Master Diao: "I heard that you feel that life is too boring. You have stolen all the murderous tombs in the world. You have no noble pursuit, so you take the initiative to retire in prison. That's not Do you know that Master Diao, as the world's greatest sand traveler, is interested in the amazing tomb deep in Dunhuang? "
"Haha, I have been in the tomb robbing world for thirty years and I have never seen any tombs. You want to invite me to come out with just one sentence? Who do you think you are?"
"Besides, apart from a few murals and a few Buddha statues, what else is there in Dunhuang worthy of my attention?"
Diao Ye's expression remained as usual, and his eagle eyes did not waver at all.
"No! I'm sure you've never seen this tomb. Legend has it that only by gathering the eight clay statues of heavenly dragons and eight dragons can you find a way to open it. It contains the greatest treasure of the ancient Silk Road, which is bigger than yours in your lifetime. I’ve seen a lot.”
I finished speaking in one breath, and accurately captured that when I mentioned the second half of the sentence, Master Diao's eyes visibly lit up, and he ordered the two women beside him to step back.
After the woman left, the first thing Diao Ye asked me was: "Do you have the clay statue of the eight heavenly dragons in your hand?"
"Yes! I got a Mahulaka before and successfully cracked its secret." I answered seriously.
Diao Ye's body leaned forward slightly, and his slightly narrowed eyes suddenly widened: "What? You can actually crack that clay statue."
"That's right! I can show you what's in the belly of the clay statue. It's a cut treasure map that connects the entire ancient Silk Road! Unfortunately, the ancient tomb can't be found with just one part of it. ”
Master Diao asked his men to loosen the hemp rope that tied me, and threw me a piece of chalk, and then asked me to draw on the opposite wall. Although I was a little distressed by the gorgeous decoration, I was not hesitant. I drew the scenes I saw that night one by one based on my memory.
When I traced the mountains and rivers one by one, Diaoye's eyes immediately changed, and he murmured to himself: Yes, it's Lake Balkhash. "
I boldly asked: "Master Diao, do you have a clay statue like this in your hand?"
"Boy, you are really smart. It is true that not long ago, I got a Yaksha statue. At the beginning, that person also said that gathering the eight heavenly dragons could unlock a mysterious treasure. But I didn't expect that you could actually decipher the secret inside. After all, after all, Who sent you here!"
Diao Ye slammed the table, and the cold murderous intent in his eyes actually made it difficult for me to breathe.
Under such overwhelming pressure, I couldn't tell lies. I could only explain word by word: "Qilin! I am from Qilin. This time I came to Shanghai to ask the general manager to help me and go to Dunhuang to do something great."
"Hey, Qilin, this is a bit interesting." The expression on Diao Ye's face was very playful. After saying that, he looked at one of his subordinates: "Luotuo, what do you think?"
The man called Camel replied: "As expected of someone who can touch the eldest lady's butt, it is indeed extraordinary!"
